A Little Insight

I saw this on another blog that I read. I have to say when I read it, all I could think was, "This is me!". I really do see this on a regular basis...so much so that it makes it hard to go out sometimes. You just never know what will trigger the meltdown. Not sure if its more the ADHD or the Sensory Processing Disorder, but whatever it is, I wish it could be fixed with a snap of your fingers.

Good afternoon, and welcome to “ADHD Theater.” Today we will watch a familiar scene entitled, “The ADHD Train Wreck.” Moms of ADHD children everywhere have lived out this scenario countless times. Let’s begin…

SETTING: A playground

CHARACTERS: ADHD Mom, ADHD Kid, Playground Kids, Other Parents

TIME: All too often

ADHD Mom is sitting on a park bench with the Other Parents. The Other Parents are enjoying a beautiful day at the park, watching their children play kickball on the playground. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, healthy snacks are readily available and everyone is having a pretty good hair day. However, ADHD Mom is unable to relax and enjoy herself. This is because she is intensely watching the kickball game, while pretending to carry on a conversation with the Other Parents. She watches one of the Playground Kids roll the ball to her son, and he kicks the ball out of bounds. She begins to sweat and feel nervous as she watches the scene begin to unfold in front of her.

Playground Kids: Out of bounds! That ball was out of bounds!

ADHD Kid immediately gets upset, begins stomping and shouting on the playing field. The hair on the back of ADHD Mom’s neck stands up, and she finds herself sitting up in her chair. She is thinking, “Oh no. Please don’t do this. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t embarrass me. Not now. Not here… Oh crap, here it comes...”

ADHD Kid: NO, IT WASN’T!! IT WASN’T!! IT WASN’T OUT OF BOUNDS! I WANT A DO OVER!!

Playground Kids: The ball was out of bounds, dude! Get over it! Let’s get on with the game.

ADHD Kid: NO IT WASN’T! YOU GUYS ARE CHEATING! I WANT ANOTHER TURN! NOW!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

ADHD Mom feels the white hot glare of the Other Parents. She thinks, “Should I pretend like I do not know who the yelling kid belongs to? ” She wonders if she should explain to the Other Parents that her son has ADHD and sometimes has trouble calming down. She worries that the Other Parents will just think she is making excuses for her poor parenting and her son’s bad behavior, so she freezes like a deer in the headlights.
After a few minutes of watching in horror, she begins to formulate an exit plan from this “minor social derailment.” She hopes the plan will involve vanishing into thin air or using one of those memory-removal things on the Other Parents (you know, the flashy thing from the movie “Men In Black” when they wanted people to forget the things they’d seen and heard). After a few minutes of watching her son go downhill fast and realizing the Playground Kids were angry and quite tired of listening to him complain, she decides to remove him from the situation to prevent further damage.
With a delicate, kind voice, ADHD Mom lets her son know that it is time to take a break.

ADHD Mom: Son, you seem really upset. I think it’s time to take a break. I will give you two choices, you can either take a break , relax beside me, or we can head home. It’s up to you.

ADHD Kid: NO! I DON’T WANT TO GO! THEY ARE CHEATING AT KICKBALL! I HATE THEM! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Instead of deflating the situation, the “minor derailment” has escalated into an all-out ADHD Train Wreck, and wouldn’t you know it, the Other Parents and the Playground Kids have a front row seat to watch the action.
Surveying the wreckage in front of her, she feels stuck and confused. Does she grab his arm and drag him off the field? Does she do nothing and let him completely melt down? Which is worse, removing him, or letting him stay? Both choices will probably embarrass both of them even further. As the game of Operation states, “It takes a verrrrry steady hand.”
She decides to get him out of there, even if it involves dragging him out. She has realized that there is no way he can calm down anytime soon. Throwing a fit in the middle of the kickball field will not only be painful for both of them, it will give the Playground Kids and the Other Parents more evidence toward the opinion that they are both screwed-up people who should be avoided.
ADHD Mom and ADHD Kid return home feeling awful. The Playground Kids and the Other Parents resume their lovely afternoon, thankful that the Train Wreck is over.

THE END.


Kara Thompson is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Lenexa, Kansas. You can visit her website at www.karathompson.com, find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/karatherapy, or follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/karagthompson.

Katie and David's Wedding 6/18/11

So here are some pictures that I took at the wedding. Uncle Bill has some better ones, but this gives you an idea of the overall wedding. It was a beautiful place and luckily the rain ended right before the nuptials. Enjoy!

Personalize a digital slideshow

Lily the Party Animal

Lily had two birthday parties yesterday....needless to say it was a very busy day! She had a friend one at a local pool and then a family one at a nearby park. She had a great day!

Free picture slideshow made with Smilebox

My Lily Bug

My Lily turned 9 on Wednesday. It is hard to believe she is almost in the double digits!!! She is quite the sweet girl. She is still very cuddly and loving, but also has a bit of a stubborn streak. Wonder who she got that from??? She loves to Irish dance and is really good at it for only having done it a little over a year. She loves school and LOVES to socialize....Lily gets calls all the time! It won't be long before its boys...YIKES! She wanted chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese for supper. We then met her cousins at Orange Leaf for YUMMY birthday dessert! Happy birthday to my Lily Bug!

(wedding pictures to be posted soon....lots to go through!)

What To Do?

Have you ever had a problem that you just can't seem to figure out? That is me. Trey is having an issue that I just can't seem to figure out. I don't want to go into detail here just because I don't want to embarrass him, but I honestly don't know what to do about it. I have done some research online and it seems that this problem is something that is common in children with ADHD, especially in boys. I just can't seem to find any solution to the problem. It concerns me because he starts kindergarten in the Fall and I don't want him to deal with anything that might embarrass him. I guess if it gets worse, then I will talk with the pediatrician, but not sure what kind of help the doctor will be. I am so frustrated and I just hate that I do not know what to do or where to turn. I am not a fan of not being in control. :(

And the Stitches are OUT!

Trey had his stitches taken out today and did such a great job! I (nor anyone else) had to hold him down. He laid down (after asking all kinds of questions) and let the nurse snip his "spiders" (that is what he called the black strings when he saw them in the mirror...said it looked like spider legs). She promised him nothing would hurt and she was right. I think it helps that he wasn't in any pain, unlike when he got the stitches. I am so proud of him! At least he won't be petrified to go to his 5 year check up in a couple of months!
Here is the brave boy with his RED crayon band-aid. He didn't cry at ALL!!!

Poor little guy had a tough day working up to his doctor's appointment. Captain Rex fell asleep on the way to supper tonight.

With his mask on....lol

We went for froyo to celebrate Trey's bravery in getting his stitches out. Some people might call it "bribery"....we call it reward! ;)

A Boy and his Dog

I couldn't resist a shot of his boots...he is definitely a boot boy.

Chasing Molly in the front yard....LOTS OF GIGGLES!

Trey loves his Molly dog!

June 5

We went to a friend's daughter's graduation party on Sunday. I was inside catching up with some old friends, when Meghan came inside and said Trey was bleeding. Daniel went out to get him and came in with his hand under Trey's chin....to catch the blood! Daniel had blood all over his arm, hands, etc. Trey's chin had a deep gash on it and would not stop bleeding. We knew he would need stitches....I really didn't want to deal with that because I KNEW Trey would not handle it well. He had been playing on a hammock swing and flipped out and fell on the concrete. He was screaming....he does not do well with any kind of boo-boo. So we got everyone loaded up into the car and headed to the ER. I took him back initially while Daniel waited in the waiting room with the girls. After they initially came in to just look, he was screaming again. I called Daniel to get him back there with me, just b/c I knew I couldn't do it alone. They had told me that he would need to be wrapped up like a mummy to keep his hands/arms/legs still. It took me, Daniel, two male nurses and a female nurse to hold him down while the doctor stitched him up. I had warned one of the nurses he was strong, but I don't think she really believed me until she was holding him down. She had to get one of the male nurses to trade places with her b/c he was wearing her out! He screamed the ENTIRE time. Nothing I could do/say/sing would console him. It was the most traumatic thing I (or him) have ever been through. I cried, he cried. It. Was. Awful. I hope to never experience that again. Unfortunately for me, he has to have the stitches out on Friday...and I am sure that will NOT be fun at all. In fact, I am dreading it. He is healing nicely, but his chin is quite sore. It is an ordeal to get him to let me change the band-aids. Ah, a day in the life of a kid with sensory issues....I just pray he never breaks a bone!

This is a picture of him right after it was over. The staff was so nice. They brought him stickers, a popsicle, and a toy car. All he really cared about was the popsicle....and getting the heck out of there!


Picture of the doctor's lovely handiwork. She was really good with Trey....even through all his screaming.

Last Day of School

School is finally out for the summer! Our last day was June 3rd and ends a chapter in my work career. I will be moving to a new school being built closer to our house. It is 2 miles from my house vs 7.5 miles that I had been traveling. Plus, I will be closer to where Trey will be. I feel better about being closer to him as he starts Kindergarten. I am also now officially the mother of a high schooler. How the heck did that happen? I'm still 25, right? Wow....just the thought of her going to school with 17 and 18 year old boys is a little terrifying for me. I hope we are ready for this. Lily will be entering the 4th grade and is such a model student. She got straight A's and the super citizen award for her class for being so responsible and always doing the right thing. We are very proud! I have finished cleaning out my room, so today is my official first day of summer vacation. Looking forward to lots of pool time!

Memorial Day Weekend

We went to Memphis to visit with my dad over Memorial Day weekend. We also went to let Lily compete in the Memphis Feis. My dad was excited to get to see Lily dance. She didn't place in any of her dances, but she made a new friend and was very close in scoring to the ones that did place! We had a great time visiting with my dad....just wished we lived closer!