A Little Insight

I saw this on another blog that I read. I have to say when I read it, all I could think was, "This is me!". I really do see this on a regular basis...so much so that it makes it hard to go out sometimes. You just never know what will trigger the meltdown. Not sure if its more the ADHD or the Sensory Processing Disorder, but whatever it is, I wish it could be fixed with a snap of your fingers.

Good afternoon, and welcome to “ADHD Theater.” Today we will watch a familiar scene entitled, “The ADHD Train Wreck.” Moms of ADHD children everywhere have lived out this scenario countless times. Let’s begin…

SETTING: A playground

CHARACTERS: ADHD Mom, ADHD Kid, Playground Kids, Other Parents

TIME: All too often

ADHD Mom is sitting on a park bench with the Other Parents. The Other Parents are enjoying a beautiful day at the park, watching their children play kickball on the playground. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, healthy snacks are readily available and everyone is having a pretty good hair day. However, ADHD Mom is unable to relax and enjoy herself. This is because she is intensely watching the kickball game, while pretending to carry on a conversation with the Other Parents. She watches one of the Playground Kids roll the ball to her son, and he kicks the ball out of bounds. She begins to sweat and feel nervous as she watches the scene begin to unfold in front of her.

Playground Kids: Out of bounds! That ball was out of bounds!

ADHD Kid immediately gets upset, begins stomping and shouting on the playing field. The hair on the back of ADHD Mom’s neck stands up, and she finds herself sitting up in her chair. She is thinking, “Oh no. Please don’t do this. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t embarrass me. Not now. Not here… Oh crap, here it comes...”

ADHD Kid: NO, IT WASN’T!! IT WASN’T!! IT WASN’T OUT OF BOUNDS! I WANT A DO OVER!!

Playground Kids: The ball was out of bounds, dude! Get over it! Let’s get on with the game.

ADHD Kid: NO IT WASN’T! YOU GUYS ARE CHEATING! I WANT ANOTHER TURN! NOW!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

ADHD Mom feels the white hot glare of the Other Parents. She thinks, “Should I pretend like I do not know who the yelling kid belongs to? ” She wonders if she should explain to the Other Parents that her son has ADHD and sometimes has trouble calming down. She worries that the Other Parents will just think she is making excuses for her poor parenting and her son’s bad behavior, so she freezes like a deer in the headlights.
After a few minutes of watching in horror, she begins to formulate an exit plan from this “minor social derailment.” She hopes the plan will involve vanishing into thin air or using one of those memory-removal things on the Other Parents (you know, the flashy thing from the movie “Men In Black” when they wanted people to forget the things they’d seen and heard). After a few minutes of watching her son go downhill fast and realizing the Playground Kids were angry and quite tired of listening to him complain, she decides to remove him from the situation to prevent further damage.
With a delicate, kind voice, ADHD Mom lets her son know that it is time to take a break.

ADHD Mom: Son, you seem really upset. I think it’s time to take a break. I will give you two choices, you can either take a break , relax beside me, or we can head home. It’s up to you.

ADHD Kid: NO! I DON’T WANT TO GO! THEY ARE CHEATING AT KICKBALL! I HATE THEM! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Instead of deflating the situation, the “minor derailment” has escalated into an all-out ADHD Train Wreck, and wouldn’t you know it, the Other Parents and the Playground Kids have a front row seat to watch the action.
Surveying the wreckage in front of her, she feels stuck and confused. Does she grab his arm and drag him off the field? Does she do nothing and let him completely melt down? Which is worse, removing him, or letting him stay? Both choices will probably embarrass both of them even further. As the game of Operation states, “It takes a verrrrry steady hand.”
She decides to get him out of there, even if it involves dragging him out. She has realized that there is no way he can calm down anytime soon. Throwing a fit in the middle of the kickball field will not only be painful for both of them, it will give the Playground Kids and the Other Parents more evidence toward the opinion that they are both screwed-up people who should be avoided.
ADHD Mom and ADHD Kid return home feeling awful. The Playground Kids and the Other Parents resume their lovely afternoon, thankful that the Train Wreck is over.

THE END.


Kara Thompson is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Lenexa, Kansas. You can visit her website at www.karathompson.com, find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/karatherapy, or follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/karagthompson.